Conversations with Julia help clients to examine their lives, make discoveries and decisions by realigning with their intentions, preferences and values. 

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“What do you want more of?  What do you want less of?” are crucial orienting questions.

 

People often feel compelled to figure out “Why” people do what they do, yet this pursuit may not lead to verifiable answers.  And sometimes an origin story makes people feel fated, or trapped.

 

“What now?” “What is the next right thing?” “Are we focusing on the right topic?” help clarify the next right step.

 

“How does that make you feel?” is not as common a question for Julia.  Solely focusing on feelings is an unreliable path for progress. Feelings are important, and so are thoughts and values.

 

After a fight Julia might ask “You were willing to fight, to stand up for something, something that wasn’t happening, something important to you, what was it, that was missing?” 

 

People usually say, "I just didn't want x ! " and X=nagging, criticism, But people don't want the same things for many different reasons.

"I want cleanliness so that we can make our hectic mornings go easier." 

"I want cleanliness because I want to teach our children to clean up after themselves, it's about good citizenship."

 

Getting clear on what is important removes opposition. The partner who wants to leave dishes overnight  isn't opposed to valuing ease. They might be valuing sleep. 

 

Finding the values, away from the "shoulds" guides the conversation to shared visions rather than focusing on supposed conflict.